Marriage ceremonies are an important event in everyone's life, and the way to arrange marriage events is different in different parts of the world. We have tried to describe how marriages are arranged in Nepal.
Nepal has a unique marriage system, with different ways to get married. Here are some of the traditions of marriage in Nepal.
Arranged marriage is popular in Hindu culture in Nepal, and Hindus believe that marriages are made in heaven. Once the son or daughter reaches the age of marriage, the parents look for the groom or bride through relatives or people they know. They can be called middlemen, or we call them "Lami" in Nepali.
Once the groom or bride is found, the parents will go to the Astrologers/priests to consult, check, and confirm whether the bride and the groom are made for each other. For this purpose, both the bride and the groom's star signs are matched. The middle person, or the Lami, who acts as a messenger to both families, is involved in all the arrangements for the Wedding. Weddings start with the determination of the precise dates set by the astrologers.
Weddings can be held only during certain auspicious seasons, which fall from April through June and January through February. They embrace a rich cultural tradition that lasts several days. The ceremony starts after an engagement (when the bride and groom exchange rings and garland).
First, the groom goes to the bride with his family, friends, and relatives (who are called Janti in Nepali). The wedding ceremony starts; the Swayambar follows, where the bride and the groom exchange their rings and garland made of Doobo (Doobo is a specific type of grass that does not dry, thus indicating the relationship will never break or dry).
The groom wears a Nepali national dress called "Daura Suruwar with Topi" or Coat and pants, and the bride wears heavy gold jewelry, a red sari and blouse, and a sparkling "Ghoomto" covering her face.
The most touching scene is observed during Kanyadaan when the bride's parents perform the ritual of handling their daughter's responsibility to the groom. Therefore, the bride becomes exclusively his and has to wear "sindoor and pote" as long as she is married and prays for her husband's long life.
At last, the laughter fades, and tears begin as the farewell ritual starts. A grand reception follows the Wedding. A string of decorative light, melodious music, and delicious food and drinks emphasize the high spirits of the groom's family and thus leave memories imprinted in the guests' hearts. The bride returns home with his wife and completes the marriage ceremony.
This type of marriage is becoming more popular in Nepal these days. Since there is no option of choosing a life partner in an arranged marriage, the new generation has started to choose their life partner themselves. If the parents of both families agree with their choice, they arrange the Wedding according to the Arranged marriage.
If any of the family does not agree, then they leave the family, get married, and start a new family. Later, the parents call them to return since they cannot leave their children for a long time. So, they accept whatever mistake the children make as they are always children in the eyes of the parents. The children also may apologize for being obedient to their parents and will return to their parents.
When they are happy with each other and their parents agree to get married, some couples go to court and get a marriage certificate.
Elopement is an old version of Love marriage in Nepal, and this type of marriage is practiced in a specific community or ethnic group. When both boys and girls are happy and agree to marriage, they will do this marriage. If they love each other and want to get married, but the parents disagree, they leave the family and escape from society.
I hope people do not have to elope anymore when all the individuals are educated and know that marriage is a private affair of the people.
In the northwest part of Nepal, like Humla, Dolpo, and Mustang, the people are practicing a polyandry marriage system as well. Nepal's northern border with Tibet is a high Himalayan region inhabitant by Tibeto Burman Mongoloid people.
The Tibetan-speaking peoples of those areas are generally referred to as Bhote (Tibetian) people. The polyandry system is a cause that helps them adapt well to harsh ecological and climatic conditions, keep the family intact, and hold the family properties together.
There are certain reasons behind the polyandry tradition in these villages, such as the limited farming land and the low production compared to the efforts made to cultivate it. If all brothers of the families are married to different women, this leads to family separation, which results in the division of land and property.
Polyandry is no longer a fashionable thing, especially outside that area; residents of neighbouring Nepali villages laugh at the polyandry husbands, and Sharing a wife is a shameful thing." for others.
Generally, the sexual rights of the wife are determined by age. So, the younger can have access only when the senior is absent. If all brothers are at home, the younger ones have to take a chance in the daytime on the work field or some hiding places.
Usually, the brothers are involved in various works as herdsmen, traders, and field workers, so there are rarer chances of being together. The role of the wife is crucial in these families for maintaining harmony and family tranquility.
Note: However, the Number of polyandry families is decreasing in Nepal, and this is not a cup of tea for young people. It is also not legal to marry many men in Nepal. I hope it improves when the economic status of the family increases and they do not have to depend on the land they have.
Polygamy is an old culture in Nepali society as the monarchy ruled Nepal. The kings of Nepal or the rich people of Nepal used to get married to two or more women, and those who used to be respected used to have two or more wives, as it was the culture of Nepal.
However, getting married to 2 or more women in Nepal is illegal. There are still some cases of this issue in Nepal. It improves when all the individuals are educated and will know and understand each other before they get into many marriages.
According to Nepali culture, couples are made in heaven. So, divorces are normally rare in Nepal. It is a cultural issue, and the women tolerate it even though their husbands suppress them.
The men of Nepal do not get married to those women who are already married and divorced, and the men also have to pay or provide half of their property when they get divorced. So, they are not ready to divorce. Divorce cases in Nepal are increasing cause people do not want to live in suppression, and people now are more educated, so they leave each other when they do not like each other.
In Nepali culture, every woman has to go to her husband's home when they are married. This is a natural phenomenon in Nepali society as well, and the wife needs to take things/property to her in-laws' home, which is called "Dowry."
Dowry can be the money, goods, or estate the bride brings to the groom's home in her marriage. Dowry can now be defined as a forced financial and material arrangement to be given by the bride's parents to the groom's parents as an essential condition.
It is one of the social evils, but still practiced in our culture. It has become a serious problem in the Terai region of Nepal for low-income families who cannot offer the property at their daughter's Wedding. However, it is illegal to demand property from the groom's family on his son's marriage, and it should be implemented strongly.
Nepal is a small Himalayan country located between China (Tibet) and India. Even though it is a small country, there are many ways to get married. Furthermore, Nepal is popular for Trekking and cultural heritage tours. The most popular Treks are the Everest Base Camp Trek, Annapurna Base Camp Trek, Annapurna Circuit Trek, Langtang Circuit Trek, Manaslu Circuit Trek, and many others. It is also popular for cultural tours. Kathmandu Day Tour, Pokhara Tour, Chitwan Tour, and Lumbini Tour are the most popular in Nepal.
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